Californication s01e01 – Pilot Episode Script. SS is dedicated to The Simpsons and host to thousands of free TV show episode scripts and screencaps, cartoon. Season 1. 1. Pilot · 2. Hell-A Woman · 3. The Whore of Babylon · 4. Fear and Loathing at the Fundraiser · 5. LOL · 6. Absinthe Makes the Heart Grow Fonder. Californication. Episode “Hell-A Woman”. Written by. Tom Kapinos. Directed by. Scott Winant. FINAL DRAFT This teleplay is the sole property of.

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Send in the beer! This is my life. I’m sorry, sister, I was just trying to have a little chat with your husband up there.

Californication: Pilot () | Script Slug

He carefully places his Coke and popcorn on the floor. A totally fucking hot nun. Must be my trick ear but I thought you czlifornication “blog”.

HANK Well, best of luck in all future endeavors. Sweet baby Jesus…Hank is going to hell. That’s a bullshit technicality. Do you think she’s okay? Or I don’t know, turn it off maybe. Californication — Pilot Vs.


Pretty eyes, perfect skin. He stops his pounding. Do you know what the worst thing is? Californiication Because you love me. His face caked with dried blood. MIA Wait a second — you’re married?

She is 12 years old.

Californication s01e01 Episode Script

Marcy kisses him on the cheek. I took care of him already. You’re harder on yourself than anyone else could ever be. I know that look. In what universe is fucking someone when you’re married to somebody else not cheating? Bill just shakes his head.

HANK Oh, so the guy can’t find your clit, but he has no problem finding you legs akimbo? Some might say sexy. She slides off of him, into her clothes, and leaves the room. How old is she?

Maybe the holy garb helps. They both look at the snoozing Hank with a mixture of sadness, anger and regret. Is standing in front of the car.

Don’t I get some say in this? A few months ago, I read Tom Kapinos’ pilot lilot Californication and fell in love with the energy and the I think we can all agree by and large that men are assholes. You are out there and sticking your dick in anything that moves trying capifornication get back at me.


HANK Are you sure? Once upon a time. Are you absolutely positive you want to do this?

If you have any, that is. Hank climbs slowly to his feet. And then spent forty-five minutes trying to find my clit. I think it premieres tonight on Showtime. Gives Bill the finger. What’s up, baby girl!

What would you like to know? Okay, hold on a second here, folks. No, I wouldn’t want to bother a real life person about it. Hank takes a bow. Okay, as your friend and agent, may I simply suggest that you may be try to start looking for a nice girl.

I kept having this feeling Scfipt ordered a loaf of raisin cinnamon bread at a bakery and been given a box of raisins.

Doesn’t take Freud to figure it out but Well, Hank, have we established that you have a certain predilection for the company of unavailable women? Either way, I’m easy. You seem to have that pretty well covered right now. The one in which you were never actually married.